Chapter Forty-Two: Saving Agent Ryker

No Powers Boy
guest-starring Captain America
The End of the World As We Know It: Part I-2

The phone’s shrill ring filled every corner of the empty room. Kyle groaned, and when he realized no one else was going to answer it, picked himself off the floor and wandered over to the phone. “Hello?” he asked, waking up quickly.
“Wake-up,” the voice on the other end stated, then hung up. Kyle looked at the clock. It was 10:30. Check-out was only a half an hour away. Kyle stretched, and looked around the room. His friends were gone. Their luggage was gone. No luggage meant no clothes to change into, so Kyle opted not to take a shower. After all, he thought. I’m only looking for a job at Marvel Burger. He took the hotel key from its place on the desk (the only thing left in the room that wasn’t bolted down), and made his way to the front desk. He handed his room key to the clerk, who gave him back a $20 bill in trade.
“Your friend paid in advance with cash,” she said, and Kyle realized she was the same person responsible for his wake-up call earlier. “There’s your deposit back. Thank you for staying with us, and have a pleasant day.” She turned back to her desk. Further conversation was useless. Kyle sighed, stuck the $20 in his pocket, and wandered out to find the nearest Marvel Burger.

There’s a Marvel Burger on nearly every block in New York City, but it took Kyle several minutes of wandering to turn one up. It was a dirty little storefront shop, and Kyle wasn’t sure he’d want to spend even two weeks working there, but figured if he got hired at one place, that was as good as being hired at all of them. He resigned himself to his fate, and went in to ask for an application.
The doors were barely open, and already the restaurant was swarming with customers. A very angry young man stood at the front of the line. “I distinctly asked for my Galactus WITHOUT cheese!” He was shouting. The young girl working behind the counter wasn’t sure what to do, and tried to stammer out an apology. As the line got larger behind the young man, people began to grumble and complain loudly. I can’t believe this is going to be my life, Kyle thought. The girl was trying to apologize again.
“No!” the young man yelled. “It’s not fair!” He was beginning to sweat, and his body was contorting in strange places. Kyle half-consciously summoned his costume, still watching the angry patron. “I said NO CHEESE! I-“ The man’s complaints were lost in a dull roar as his clothes began to tear and shred. Underneath, his skin had taken on a green tint. Oh my God! Kyle thought. It's-
The young man’s clothes fell away as the transformation completed. The young man now stood over seven feet tall, long and lanky, with green scales and sharp claws at the ends of his fingers and toes. The demon that had once been a young man turned to the crowd, and roared. Everyone panicked. Kyle had to hold on to the handrail to avoid being swept away by the crowd. A few Marvel Burger employees peeked out at the lobby from their hiding places behind grills and countertops. As the last of the crowd dispersed, No Powers Boy stood facing the enormous menace on the other side of the dining room. Kyle got a good look at the kid’s power signature. Definitely a mutant, shapechanger, one form only. Not a problem. No Powers Boy’s powers flashed. Nothing happened. The giant lizard hissed in rage, and raised its gleaming claws overhead. No Powers Boy looked up at them, and realized he fell well within their intended path. He could only think of one thing to do.
“Oh damn,” he said. And then, the claws fell. And Kyle jumped under the dividers intended to keep customers in an orderly line. The wooden rails splintered under Kyle’s opponent’s attack, but Kyle himself was unharmed. He clamored to his feet, urging his body to stay one step ahead of those terrible claws. As a long, bony tail swept his feet out from under him, Kyle realized he had plenty more to worry about. He ran his hands awkwardly along his chest, eventually pulling free his laser pistol. He had to jog twice more about the dining area to avoid being massacred before he was able to get off a shot. Of course, the demon’s skin reflected the bolt, which brought a section of ceiling crashing down. With unbelievable swiftness, the creature skittered across the floor, knocking No Powers Boy into the kitchen area with a swipe of its arm. Thankfully, his armor padded most of the blow, but the force of landing had knocked an industrial-sized freezer onto Kyle’s back. It would take time to push it off, and that was not a luxury No Powers Boy had. As the creature turned to continue its attack, Kyle got a better look at the power signature he was dealing with. Nearly invisible by definition was a secondary power of this enhanced form. While in monster-mode, this boy was able to repel concentrated light, sound, heat, radiation, and- apparently- Kyle’s powers. The monster stopped in front of No Powers Boy, and hissed again.
And then, from the street, came salvation. It sailed through the restaurant with the whirring of displaced air, struck the monster squarely in the back of the head, and bounced back into it’s owner’s hand. No Powers Boy and the monster turned to see who had entered their battle late. Framed by the doorway was Captain America.
“I’ve seen this movie,” the Star-Spangled Avenger said. “I didn’t like it.” The creature roared, and charged at Captain America. Cap was a blur of motion, bounding from tabletop to tabletop and landing three solid blows with his shield before the monster even brought his claws to bear. No Powers Boy pulled himself free, but kept both eyes squarely on the battle. Captain America was truly an impressive sight, but he didn’t seem to be having anymore effect than Kyle did. Even using the shield as a bludgeon, he was having no luck piercing the thick, scaly skin. Cap backflipped to the other side of the restaurant. The demon charged. No Powers Boy’s pistol flashed, slicing a bit of the tile floor loose beneath the monster’s foot. The creature slipped, and fell on its back. No Powers Boy jumped over the monster, and made his way over to Captain America. Quickly, No Powers Boy brought the Avenger up to speed.
“Follow my lead,” Captain America instructed. He charged at the monster, pushing off the floor with his powerful legs. The indestructible shield rammed right into the creature’s stomach. The beast doubled over. Cap’s shield flew upward, right into the lizard-thing’s chin. Before the thing could recover, Cap was bounding behind his opponent, knocking a table onto its tail, and pinning it there sharply with all of the strength his enhanced physique could muster. The creature tried to squirm his way free, but the scales in his tail were holding him fast, and his enormous shoulders made it impossible for him to reach the man pinning him in place. Captain America, on a table, was keeping the mutant from moving.
So the young man did the only thing he could think of. He quickly reverted to his human form, removing his tail and, as a result, the only thing keeping him pinned in place. Then, he quickly reactivated his mutant power, willing himself to return to his monstrous identity. But nothing happened. No Powers Boy, eyes afire, smiled at the young mutant. The two heroes had an easy trick planned, and it had paid off. This young man was not immune to No Powers Boy’s power, and so he was trapped in his standard human form. Captain America laid a hand on the mutant boy’s shoulder.
“Give it up son, you’re done,” he said. There was so much authority in the Living Legend’s voice, the young man backed down immediately.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “I- I didn’t mean-“
“I know,” Captain America replied. “Turn yourself over to the police right now, and I promise you, I’ll speak at your trial.”
“Really?” The boy’s eyes brightened.
“You have my word.” And with that, the three combatants left the restaurant. Outside, several police cars were waiting to take the boy into custody.
“Good thing you were here,” No Powers Boy said to Captain America.
“Actually,” Cap replied, “It was no accident. I traced the homing signal in your gun. S.H.I.E.L.D. has a mission for us.”
“For us? What? Where-?”
“We’ve got to leave now. We’re on our way to the Latverian embassy.”
“Latveria? As in Dr. Doom?”
“That’s right. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s hidden mikes in the embassy say he’s got one of our agents locked in a cell. We’re going to get that agent back.”
“But- why me?”
“I’m sure you’re going to want in on this mission, um, No Powers Boy. See, according to the reports, the agent Doom’s got locked in the embassy... is you.”

Captain America had a skycycle waiting just behind the police cordon, and the moment he was sure the young mutant was safely in police custody, he mounted the bike, waited for No Powers Boy to climb on behind him, and took off for the Latverian Embassy on the other side of town. On their way there, Kyle tried to figure out what Cap’s comment could possibly have meant. Me? Doom’s prisoner? But that’s impossible! I’m me! At least, I’m pretty sure I am. What if I’m not me? What if I’m the Phoenix Force, or Rick Jones, or It, the Living Colossus? No, no I’ve got to be me. I’m No Powers Boy! Doom’s prisoner must be a fake. But it can’t be Phoenix, or Captain Universe, or any of those other- they’d be able to break out no problem. But the only other me who wasn’t me was that Skrull who posed as me. And he’s gone, left behind on the Skrull Throneworld. Besides, by the time he left, I wasn’t a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent yet. And Captain America says this guy is definitely an agent. So it can not be Elyk. Is it possible there’s another doppleganger? A third Kyle brother? He turned the idea over in his head several more times, but nothing seemed to make sense. Before he could puzzle it out any further, Kyle, along with Captain America, had arrived at the Latverian Embassy.
“Remember, this could be a false alarm,” Captain America said. “We’ll try it the easy way first- just up the walk, knock on the door, and ask to be let inside.”
“How often does that work?” No Powers Boy asked.
“Very, very rarely. But when it does work, it’s worth all the times it didn’t.”
“Are those supposed to do that?” Captain America’s eyes followed No Powers Boy’s finger to the rooftop, where four “stone” gargoyles were slowly, but steadily, flapping their thick wings. Their eight eyes were lit bright red, and stared down at the two heroes.
“No,” Captain America said. “No, they are definitely not supposed to do that.” The gargoyles, as a unit, leapt from their respective perches, and sped down toward the heroes. Captain America was all business. As the first gargoyle strafed him with his claws, Captain America brought his shield up to repel the attack. Then, he leapt into the air and onto the second gargoyle’s back. Nestled between the giant robot’s massive wings, Captain America was safe from the monster’s striking claws. Not to be stopped, the gargoyle flapped both wings, and lifted higher into the air.
Meanwhile, No Powers Boy was contending with two more of the robotic gargoyles. Mostly, he was running this way and that, trying desperately to avoid the two robotic gargoyles intent on spilling his blood. As the two had dived down from their perch, No Powers Boy had tried firing upon them with his pistol. Naturally, it hadn’t worked. The gargoyles’ skin was too thick to be harmed by simple laser blasts. So No Powers Boy dodged. The gargoyles worked well as unit, though, and quickly had No Powers Boy pinned into a corner. One of the gargoyles moved in for the kill.
Planting both feet firmly in the small of his reluctant mount’s back, Captain America stood up and waved frantically at the other gargoyle. The roof of the Latverian embassy was slipping away beneath his field of vision. The second gargoyle, seeing his prey make an easy target of himself, swooped in for the kill. Cap leapt into the sky as the gargoyle shredded his partner with murderously sharp claws. He opened his body wide, directing his fall as well as he could to reach the roof of the embassy. As he approached the rooftop, Captain America slid his famous shield beneath him. The vibranium absorbed the brunt of the fall, bouncing Cap back into the air and then off of the roof. With an awkward half-flip, Captain America landed somewhat gracefully on the embassy’s lawn. The sparking remains of the gargoyle he’d ridden landed in front of him a moment later. Captain America brushed himself off. “One down,” he said.
No Powers Boy knew he couldn’t avoid his fate; the gargoyle had him dead to rights. And then, he had an idea. As the gargoyle lunged, it opened its metal mouth wide and let out a shrill, grating yell of triumph. No Powers Boy threw himself into the attack. He jammed the length of his arm down the gargoyle’s throat, squeezing the trigger of his pistol over and over again. The unprotected insides of the gargoyle bent and twisted in rage as the light died in the gargoyle’s eyes. Kyle, sensing what was to happen next, mentally thickened his body armor. Then, the gargoyle exploded, tossing No Powers Boy back against the wall of the embassy like a rag doll. He lay there, too stunned to move, and watched as the second gargoyle pinned him to the ground. “At least I got one of you,” Kyle cursed.

Doom laughed his hollow, mechanical laugh. Inside the embassy’s great Dining Hall, his guests shifted uncomfortably. They counted themselves among the world’s most dangerous supervillains, and yet even they were unsure about Dr. Doom’s latest plan for world domination. Still, each had worked with the man before, and, as Electro put it, “We owe the guy, right?” Right now, Doom was watching a series of monitors, watching the last details of his plan fall into place. All eyes turned to stare at the middle of the room as an odd heat began to well up there. And then, with a bang, the Wrecking Crew materialized, dirty, but present.
“Crusher?” Titania asked, looking for some sign of her husband.
“Spider-Man showed up,” Bulldozer explained. “I don’t think your husband’s gonna make it on time.”
“No matter,” Doom said. They were the first words he’d spoken since the first villains arrived. “It is time. All the elements are in place. Doom’s plan- what?” With a haste that almost- almost- appeared panicked, Dr. Doom stepped to one of the monitors he’d been scanning a moment before. There, on the screen, was Kyle “No Powers Boy” Reeser, moments away from being slashed to ribbons by the embassy’s automated defenses. “Impossible,” Doom said.

With thick, steel skin and razor-sharp claws, the gargoyle Cap was fighting made a formidable foe. One he’d beaten with a little trickery, but that wouldn’t work a second time. Out of the corner of his eye, Cap tried to see what No Powers Boy had done to defeat one of his opponents. All he saw was the young hero, unconscious (or at least dazed), being pulled toward the embassy doors. Cap sidestepped his opponent, and hurled his shield at the monster. The gargoyle howled, and froze in mid-motion as the shield crashed through one wing and tangled itself in the other. Cap ran all-out toward the front of the embassy. The remaining gargoyle threw its body in the way to block. Cap vaulted over and landed at the front stairs just as a pair of gloved hands pulled the gargoyle’s wreckage- No Powers Boy and all- inside.
The door shut.
Captain America put his hand on the door knob.
Doom’s finger stabbed a red button.
The world flickered.
The gargoyles vanished.
Everything was over.
Doom had won.